Over the last two days I have spent my time walking around the central Ubud area. I wake up in the mornings, do my morning yoga and meditation practice, then gather my things and just follow my feet. As I was walking today I realized that I am genuinely happy all the time, I have to remember not to smile to much because that draws unwanted attention. Granted smiling is always wonderful, but it gets a little annoying after a few days that every time you smile you get asked if you want a massage, taxi ride, tour guide, motor bike rental, a ticket to tonights dance performance, it just goes on and on. While I was walking I tried to think what it was that is making this trip so different from all the rest I have taken. It was not because I am traveling alone, I am enjoying it, but to be honest I have not been alone that much on this trip so far. Could it simply be the energy of Bali? Maybe, but then it dawned on me...I have absolutely no expectations.
Once this crossed my mind I knew it had to be the answer. Every single trip I have taken thus far I have always hyped up. I have gotten myself so excited for it that when I actually got there the bar was so high it could not be anything else than a let down. Not to say that every trip I have had up to this point was a let down, far from it. But something has really shifted this time around. I came here with no plans, no ideas about what may happen, and honestly pretty scared because I was completely on my own. Because I left everything open, with no expectations, every moment has been magical (I'm not exaggerating). Even though I walk circles around town, every time I walk the circle it gets better. I have never once felt bored, or felt that I should be doing something at any given time. This might party be due to the fact that I am traveling and I do not have anything really to worry about, but I hope that you can take even just a little part of this into your life. I realized that when I'm at home I worry constantly, and I work so hard to fit as much into my day as possible. When I had a day where I did not get a lot done I felt horribly unsuccessful, and I guilted myself into feeling incomplete. Then I would make big plans and to do lists for the next day so I would feel "accomplished", only to have the pattern repeat itself again. If only I could have had my list of things to get done, but set no expectations for myself I would have felt fulfilled everyday. Now as I am traveling life is simple; but, it is so wonderful that every step I take feels like an accomplishment, and with every new blink I notice something new and exciting. Every moment I have had, and every person I have met has made me feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world just because I happened to be there at that time, or with that new friend/s. I now know that this is simply because I have no expectations for anything, I just leave it in the hands of fate.
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