Waiting, Watching, Imaging

     I'm in the airport again, and I cannot believe I've already completed the second part of this trip. The big five month trip was such a scary thought, but now a whole month has come and gone! I remember just one month ago today I was tossing and turing the night before my departure mostly nervous/scared, and part excited to take off on the plane all by myself the next day. Now I look back at that girl, and see that my mentality has changed...I no longer fear a new adventure, I jump on board grab a paddle and head towards the horizon. I couldn't be more grateful for my new perception of my reality. 

     This has brought me to think about the idea of fear. Many of us (including me for my entire life before this trip) live within our comfort zone. Its safe, reliable, and little changes here and there do not throw you off balance. It's a nice place to be, why would you want to change things and jump into the unknown? But I have learned that we can only truly learn about ourselves when we take that leap of faith, and jump clear out of that comfort zone. Believe it or not but all the magic happens when you push yourself outside of your little box of comfort. I would always only dip my feet into the water of the unknown, still having the security of the shore. I would always test the water never jumping in because I was to afraid of how cold it would be. I learned things about myself sitting safe on the shore and thinking, but always to nervous to take the plunge because I could not see the other side of my fear. This happened to me so many times. I would stress myself out, work endless hours, worry, worry, and stress some more. It worked for me. I accomplished a college degree, decent jobs, saved a little, and formulated a plan for my future. But still I never jumped all because I couldn't see past that immobilizing fear of the unknown. This is one thing I learned from my travel thus far. Sometimes I do not know what I am going to do that day, or where I will sleep tomorrow night. When I was in Bali driving a motor bike I would make a left turn with 10 other motor bikes and 3 cars (onto a one lane, one way road) not knowing how we would all fit...but somehow it always works out. I just had to not hesitate, and make the turn.

     For me, this trip was my jump off the ledge and into the cold water. I could not see the other shore, but once I jumped in I feel like swimming to the other side is so easy I do not know why the fear every paralyzed me in the first place. I no longer have fear, I know that I can handle what the new days brings. Once I took the plunge, exploring the possibilities the world has to offer seems endless. There is so much to take in, I do not want to come home after 5 months. I look out to the sky, realize that   the world has open arms, and I will no longer let myself be fearful from the unknown. This is a new me, and I know this is only the beginning. :) 

     As I sit here waiting for my flight, I also watch the faces that pass by. Sometimes simply sitting back and watching will teach you more than trying to constantly plug in and occupy yourself. First thing I notice is that everyone either sits alone at their own table. I wonder if anyone thinks about their unknown. Maybe some of these people are on a journey like mine, conquering their own fears and challenges. Maybe they already have jumped out of their comfort zone, but the reality of everyday life has made that person fall back into simplicity of a comfort zone. What have these others experienced, what could I learn from them? We all look like we are occupied but when the other person is not paying attention, we are all looking at each other. I look at others at the tables around me, at the people that pass by, and I wonder what brought them to be at this airport at this specific time. It is fun to take a moment to stop, watch, and imagine.